How To Stage manage your Wedding


1. Get Organized: This is the hardest and most important step.

You need to set up a system for yourself to keep track of the big picture and all the little details. Get a big binder and divide it into tabs for each big part of your wedding. Here are some you might want to start with and what’s likely to go in them. You can use this binder from the get-go and include inspirational pictures and ideas as well, if you want.

Important Info (for me, this is a couple sheets in page protectors before the other sections; it’s the stuff you’ll reference most often on/right before your wedding day)

Contact Sheet – Name, Cell Phone Number, & Email Address of everyone with a role in your wedding (vendors, wedding party, family members, officiant, anyone needed for pictures)

Timeline – Detailed breakdown of what happens, when it happens, where it happens, and who needs to be there – for the entire day, including getting ready & getting home or to the hotel after the party is over

Checklist – of everything that needs to be brought to the ceremony or reception, and who is responsible for bringing it

Shot list for your Photographer



Copy of your ceremony text

List of your processional/recessional order

Your marriage license, ready to be signed!

Anything else related to your ceremony


Venue information, including floor/seating plans, and any needed setup

Menu/Beverage List

Playlist for the DJ, with special songs (first dance, etc.) noted
List of who is giving toasts & list of people you want to remember to thank!

Anything else related to your reception

In addition to the guest list, you might also keep track of gifts received & thank you notes sent in this section.


Many of you may find this section optional. However, if you are coordinating dresses and/or suits for a large wedding party and/or parents, that could go here.


Depending on your personal organizational style, you might put any of these in another section.

Vendor Contracts

All of them. You do have contracts, don’t you?
You probably noticed a bunch of paperwork referenced in that list (Contact Sheet, Guest List, Timeline, Checklists, Playlist, etc.). I recommend you use an online document service (like Google Docs) for these things. That way you can access them quickly from just about anywhere when you think of something that needs to be added or edited, and you and your partner can collaborate easily.

2. Make Backup Plans

OK, now that you’ve got everything in one place, there are probably some things for which you should have backup plans. Examples are: outdoor events, which should have an indoor location secured in case of inclement weather; flower girls/ring bearers who may be suddenly shy and unwilling to walk the aisle in front of all those people; your iPod playlist which should be copied onto someone else iPod too!

3. Find the Missing Details

Read APW’s wedding grad posts, consult online checklists or friends who’ve gotten married, ask a planner—whatever. There is probably something you forgot (reserved signs for your family’s seats? someone to press play on the iPod? toasting glasses your grandmother sent you a month ago?), and if you take a little time now to check your list twice, you’ll figure it out before the big day arrives and thus avoid panic.

4. Hire a Wedding Stage Manager or Sweet Talk a Friend. A wedding Planner is not optional. Not because you need someone to plan your wedding for you, because, obviously you already did that in step 1. But because on your wedding day, you do not want to be setting up chairs and centerpieces before you run back to the hotel to get ready, wearing a watch to keep things happening on time, or talking to the catering manager every twenty minutes about what food to bring out and which tables go where.
5. Practice

I know everyone’s schedules are crazy and it’s hard to get people in the same place at the same time, but even if it’s fifteen minutes the morning of the wedding, try to schedule at least a quick walk through of your ceremony. Practice walking slowly, unless you want to be like me and beat your bride down the aisle.

6. Relax, Get Married

Hand over your binder, your watch, and your cell phone to that person you designated in Step 4 (preferably the day before) and simply be present. Soak up all the moments in the first day of the rest of your awesome married life.

Random Bits of Advice

Ask your baker how to cut that first slice of cake. They often place towels and plates in and between layers so that it doesn’t slip or fall over; it’s better to cut around those, yes?
Make a shot list for your photographer. Even if you aren’t doing formal, posed photos, you know there are people you’d be sad about not getting a picture with. Write it down and check it off.
Decide in advance what you’re going to eat on your wedding day (before the reception) and the days before. Put someone else (great job for your best person) in charge of making sure you eat. And choose healthy stuff that you know won’t upset a nervous stomach.
If you’re having any kind of welcome party or rehearsal dinner in your home, especially if you live in a condo or apartment building, let your neighbors know ahead of time or be prepared for them to throw big hussy fits about it. (I speak from personal experience.)
Write your thank you notes as soon as you get gifts. I cannot stress this enough. (A friend has a rule that she cannot use a gift or deposit a cheque until the note is written – an excellent rule.)
If you’re getting married outside (or spending time outside right before your wedding) and you burn easily, for the love of all that is sacred, please wear sunscreen. Lest you have a bindexig red blotchy area on your chest that is not in the shape of your gown’s neckline. (Yep, that’s me.)
Little Phrases from Theater that May Help You

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Posted by on February 15, 2016 in Uncategorized


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Why You should have a Wedding Planner



Weddings are one of life’s greatest milestones and have been for centuries. For  so many women, the wedding day has been something they’ve been told is the most important day of their lives; and consequently they’ve been planning and fantasizing about their big day since they were young girls. And that’s probably a good thing since there are so many aspects of a good wedding, especially for traditional ceremonies . If it isn’t done right, the ceremony just doesn’t mean as much.

We tend to put so much bearing, weight and importance on making sure everything about the big day is completely perfect, that the day is almost ruined by stress and fatigue. You only get one wedding day and you should be standing back and enjoying the moment, not worrying about trivial things that someone else could be handling.

Wedding planners are often thought to be used by those planning extravagant soirees, but just like a pre-wedding spa treatment, a wedding planner can be the first wedding gift you give yourself. From day coordination to full-on design and planning, there are wedding planners for every budget.

Here are 5 Reasons You Should Hire a Wedding Planner:



1) They will help you stay within your budget. Many couples go over budget because they aren’t sure how a particular cost fits in with the big picture, or are easily swayed by costly upgrades from their vendor. A good wedding planner will help you determine what is necessary for your budget.

2) They will save you time. The average wedding will take 200-400 hours to plan, and this can be extremely overwhelming for busy couples. They can help you find the best wedding photographer or that perfect caterer for your reception—something that could take you forever to do with your busy schedule. A good wedding planner will break your to-do list down into functional bite-sized increments, making it less impossible to get things done.

3) They will help you make good decision, based on their years of experience. It’s your first wedding, and this is their thousandth, so you will be in good hands with a wedding planner helping you make decisions.

4) They can understand and interpret your vision. Wedding planner’s jobs are the listen to what you want and make it happen in the most realistic terms. If it’s something that can’t be done, they can help turn your idea into a better one that can actually work.

5) They will give you peace of mind that things will get done. Knowing that you have an advocate there coordinating your day allows you enjoy the moment and be a relaxed guest at your wedding, not a stressed-out problem solver.

There is a perfect wedding planner for every person and every budget. Just make sure that the planner understands your vision for your wedding, and if it’s a good one, they’ll stop at nothing to make sure your wedding day is the happiest day of your life.

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Posted by on February 15, 2016 in Uncategorized


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l think of you
as the sunset brings forth its hue
as the sunrise brings forth its glow
you give my life the flow
that’s why l can’t let you go
even if you bow
and crawl
even if you blow me kisses
and promise me lists
l won’t leave you in this gist
l will fight for you with fists
and we will clear this mist

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Posted by on December 12, 2015 in poem, Uncategorized




l see you watching me everyday
you hold back your words
as if afraid of what l might think
or how l might react
sometimes l imagine you are a spy
and l a classic federal fugitive
for every corner l turn ,l see you
every. place l go ,l find you
every. bus l get on,l see you.
but l bet you. are a stalker
a puny silent talker
a complete privacy mocker
a clear indication of a loner
but l won’t mind if you ask me. out for a coffee
l won’t fright or scamper when you pour out your soul
for l understand not the perks of being a ghoul
but of being human

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Posted by on December 12, 2015 in poem, Uncategorized


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I sat at the table earlier tonight
looking out the open sliding glass door.
A light outside lined up with the door frame
so that when I leaned a certain way,
it appeared to shine on both sides of the frame.
They call this an optical illusion because
the perception of two lights
when there is really only one depends upon
the way your brain-box processes the information
it receives from your two eyes.
Yet, to you the light appears to split into two beams.

For the same reason they say
rainbows are optical illusions because
they aren’t really there and you see them only because
your brain-box processes the refraction of light
off of raindrops in a certain way so there appears
to be a beautiful curve of colors off in the distant sky.

The secret my friends is that everything you see around you
all day long every day, are a series of illusions.
Cars and trucks appear to you to be what they are only because
your brain-box perceives them
to have a certain function and do certain things.
Houses appear to be what they are only because we all have
a certain perception that those rectangular enclosures
exist to shelter us and we all agree upon the illusion
that we owe the bank a great deal of money that we must pay
in order to use the house where we live and we each participate
in the further of illusion of pretending the house is ours.

Our physics teaches us that all matter and energy obey
a strange set of laws they call ‘quantum mechanics’
and our perception of these quantum events
as well as the perceptions of our measuring instruments
depend on the interaction between the objects being observed
and the brain-boxes of the folks doing the observing.
So, the entirety of the world around us that we inadvertently
think of as ‘real’ depends on our perceptions in the same way
as the illusions of rainbows
and two beams shining when there is only one light.
Rainbows, lights shining outside your back door,
your car, the mortgage on your house, and everything else
that seems real to your brain-box
are all daydreams we each idly dream
deep within an great illusion,
floating gently in a grand enigma.

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Posted by on December 12, 2015 in Uncategorized


Good bye

If by my presence I caused more hurt
Than that I caused while we were apart
Then adieu old friend, adieu
I must say goodbye to you

If in my silence I spoke more truth
Than when my words came through
I hope you listened to my silence
Unlike when you eschewed my words

If in being here I was away more
Than when I was away before
Then this goodbye I must say
Because I cant stay here anymore

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Posted by on December 12, 2015 in poem, Uncategorized


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New Love

She kept her phone in hand
Waiting for the call or the message
That never could come
Yet she enjoyed that feeling
Of being a teenager again

The thrill of being wanted,
Of being loved, a fire burning
A warmth that keeps one awake
That awakens the spirit
Making the child in you dance

It burns less often now
Buried within the rubles
Of everyday chores and chaos
Yet it surfaces, and lingers
Like sweet scented perfume

Just for a moment, yet long enough
To keep the fire burning
Stir the desire embers
Relight the hope of a love
Yet to come yet too far away

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Posted by on November 25, 2015 in poem, Uncategorized


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