When Tomorrow starts

When tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see. If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me. I wish so much you wouldn’t cry, the way you did today, While thinking of the many things we never got to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you.. And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.. But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand.. An angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, It seemed my place was ready – In Heaven far above, and that I’d have to leave behind, those things I dearly love..

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye. For all of life, I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die. I had so much to live for, so much yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad.. I thought of all the love we shared, and how much fun we had.. If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while, I’d say goodbye, then kiss you ‘til I saw that special smile..

But then I fully realized, that it could never be, ‘Cause emptiness and memories, would take the place of me. And when I thought of all those things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. . But when I walked through Heaven’s gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From his great & golden throne,

He said, “This is eternity, and all I’ve promised you. Today your life on Earth is past, but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day is the same day, there’s no longing for the past. . But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true, Though there were some times you did some things you shouldn’t do. .

But you have been forgiven, and now at last you’re free, So come and take me by the hand, and share my life with me..” So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart, for every time you think of me, I’ll be right there – in your Heart..

 

Why You should have a Wedding Planner

 

Weddings are one of life’s greatest milestones and have been for centuries. For  so many women, the wedding day has been something they’ve been told is the most important day of their lives; and consequently they’ve been planning and fantasizing about their big day since they were young girls. And that’s probably a good thing since there are so many aspects of a good wedding, especially for traditional ceremonies . If it isn’t done right, the ceremony just doesn’t mean as much.

We tend to put so much bearing, weight and importance on making sure everything about the big day is completely perfect, that the day is almost ruined by stress and fatigue. You only get one wedding day and you should be standing back and enjoying the moment, not worrying about trivial things that someone else could be handling.

Wedding planners are often thought to be used by those planning extravagant soirees, but just like a pre-wedding spa treatment, a wedding planner can be the first wedding gift you give yourself. From day coordination to full-on design and planning, there are wedding planners for every budget.

Here are 5 Reasons You Should Hire a Wedding Planner:

 

1) They will help you stay within your budget. Many couples go over budget because they aren’t sure how a particular cost fits in with the big picture, or are easily swayed by costly upgrades from their vendor. A good wedding planner will help you determine what is necessary for your budget.

2) They will save you time. The average wedding will take 200-400 hours to plan, and this can be extremely overwhelming for busy couples. They can help you find the best wedding photographer or that perfect caterer for your reception—something that could take you forever to do with your busy schedule. A good wedding planner will break your to-do list down into functional bite-sized increments, making it less impossible to get things done.

3) They will help you make good decision, based on their years of experience. It’s your first wedding, and this is their thousandth, so you will be in good hands with a wedding planner helping you make decisions.

4) They can understand and interpret your vision. Wedding planner’s jobs are the listen to what you want and make it happen in the most realistic terms. If it’s something that can’t be done, they can help turn your idea into a better one that can actually work.

5) They will give you peace of mind that things will get done. Knowing that you have an advocate there coordinating your day allows you enjoy the moment and be a relaxed guest at your wedding, not a stressed-out problem solver.

There is a perfect wedding planner for every person and every budget. Just make sure that the planner understands your vision for your wedding, and if it’s a good one, they’ll stop at nothing to make sure your wedding day is the happiest day of your life.

 

Burn me in your heart

BURN ME IN YOUR HEART
Burn me in the kilns of your heart
Till all of me-wholly melts
Roast me in the furnaces of your soul
There with your compassionate scarlet coal

Let me there be cremated completely
And the gray ash of my charred bones
Its dusty rusty chalky particles
At its bottoms like sediments settle

Paint me in your thoughts belts
Till I am the artist’s finest art
Draw me in your busy brains
Keep me alive in your membranes

Crush me in your outstretched arms
Till I am lost in the feels of your palms
In your humble hands grind me
Till all of me is powdery and done

Kill every ounce of left me
But let my memory never die
In the chests of your mind
Hideaway with me some more
To remind you of the dusty me

In your lips let me be fantasized
Let like honey taste in your tongues
Like an aroma of jasmines fragrance
Let my perfuming pollens your nose incense

In your nostril peacefully drink me
Like fertile wine let me imbibe you
Feel the coppery colour of me in you
Until your mind be imbued with me

In your eyes dine on me
Sweet eat me in your sacred sight
With lots of piquant appetite
As a queens party buffet

Write me, calibrate me
Beautiful like etched letters
Of a renown Calligrapher
In the epitaphs of your heart

Emboss me, engrave me, curve me
Permanent like the picture-sculpture
Of an ancient king crown
In the medieval medallions
In the spirits if your soul
That I may never be a forgotten sole
Even in your sore sorrows

Let me live long like a river rock
In your ageless memory
Ever passed over by the springs of streaming time
But never washed away of it memories and fantasies
By the evolution of eras and epochs
Let us years stare, scare and scale still in love!

 

My Giant

MY GIANT
If ever I fall in love,
I want to fall in love with a giant,
7 feet and above,
A tall strong and mighty being,
With depths of feeling far beyond the usual,
thunderous rage of a wounded bear,
Yet humbling meekness of a new-born pup,
My Giant,
With big heart and limbs,
Broadest smile in the world,
Warmest, tightest hug,
I want to be loved by a Giant,
My Giant.
Towering several feet over me,
That when I look up to him,
And he down to me,
I am reminded that I am not the biggest person alive,
Oversize,
As I grew up to believe,
And when I stand next to him,
In his shadow,
I come out as a dwarf,
A miniature being,
And there all my insecurities are made to flee,
As with his mighty arms he,
Lifts me up, sweeping my feet off the ground,
With exceeding ease as a lioness with her cub,
There making my princess fantasies
come to being,
He, as my charming Prince,
My Knight in shining armor,
My well able shield.
My Giant,
With heart big enough,
To love a crooked soul like mine,
With mind wide enough,
To understand the language of a broken heart,
That when I tell him my story,
My past,
Having heard so various and vast,
He shall be far from shocked,
Not close to disappointment,
And with a kind embrace, and gentle laugh,
Say that he has heard far much worse.
My Giant,
With a voice strong and loud,
Certainly higher than the screams of my doubts,
That in moments of storm and fire,
He shall counter them waves and tongues with a deep and final bellow,
Command them to be still,
Sending them cowering back to their sources.
That when he tells me it will be alright,
My heart’s legs will come to a halt,
A definite pause,
And they will rest and wait for peace to manifest.
My Giant,
If I ever fall in love,
I want to love a giant,
A strong and mighty being,
With love so much,
Enough to drive out my insecurities,
I want to be loved by a giant,
With shoulders and arms strong enough to pull me out of holes of mistakes,
Pull me up when I fall,
With ears big enough,
To listen to my woes and blur,
Eyes deep enough to see past the facades I take up,
Soul deep enough to handle my baggage, my burdens, my mess,
And laugh deep and hearty,
Far much mellow than I ever heard,
That when I make him happy,
And he is struggling to get breath between fits of laughter,
As huge tears of joy are streaming down his face,
I shall be content if his was the last I ever heard.

 

To do List

Yet another one falls
But I will not pay my respects
Yes, you checked the box
Another score on your “to do list”
Another tear I will not shed
Another pain I will not show
Another loss I will hide
It’s just one of those things, you know
Like a teargas canister
You make my eyes sting with tears
Like a day in Afghanistan,
My heart explodes with all these fears
The door that I shut behind me
But have never walked away from
The keys that only you have
But have never used
Another day we live our lives in misery
Another day I am a poet out of mystery
How could I not concur love?
I had it all stacked right
And it all fell like dominoes
And it’s another day I sit and wonder
Am I meant to tear everything asunder?
Am I meant, to loneliness, surrender?

 

The Good Wife

THE GOOD WIFE
They say I will make you a good wife,
Because I can cook and clean pretty neat,
That provided I keep your food always on the table,
Warm and enough,
You will forever cherish me,
For the way to a man’s heart,
Was through his satisfied gut.
They say that you will definitely like me as your wife,
Because I am plump and curvy,
And my womb can create you a mighty army,
That I can keep your bed warm all through coldest Julys,
With the fat around my thighs,
And that my waist will give you something to hold on to,
When the nightmares get too real,
Maybe they were right…
They also told me that I would make you a perfect wife,
Especially because I do not talk much,
Neither do I know how to argue,
And so I would rarely nag you,
And that, was every man’s dream,
It all sounded good,
And I couldn’t wait to meet you,
See how this perfect arrangement would work out, perfectly,
So that I could thank my stars,
For saving me the trouble I saw my mates go through,
All in the name of finding the one,
You sounded perfect for the job.
But then a voice in my head spoke out,
It reminded me that it could not be all that easy,
That we could not meet and immediately start working,
Magically,
Like lock and key,
I was not rain,
You were not earth,
So it was not automatic that you would recieve me unconditionally,
Perfectly.
So I asked myself,
What really makes a good wife?
Is it just the full stomach,
And regularly serviced groins?
Was it just washing and ironing your clothes,
And polishing your shoes?
What then happened after the mighty army I bore for you was all grown up and gone?
What was it that would make you wake up from your office chair,
And make your way up to me,
Everday, everytime,
For the rest of our lives?
What was it that I had to offer you?
Something that Lucy Cate and Beryl could not?
Something that missed from the warmth and fullness of Mary Magdalene’s bossom,
What spot could I touch that no other hand could decode?
What was it that my being had to posses to have your eyes and mind locked on me?
What was the secret that would trully make me a good wife?
Did I have the knees that could for go hours bent,
Reminding God of your name?
Did I have the hands to embrace you even when you came home covered with anothers scent?
Did I have the eyes to still look at you, even when I knew all so well that you were lying to me?
Did I have the heart to forgive you past the 4900 times that our Good Lord prescribed?
Even when you repeated the same mistake over and over again?
Did I have the strength to raise a child that carried your blood but was not my own?
Did I have the patience, kindness and self-control?
Peace that was adequate to keep me sane when things went overboard?
I am not saying that all men are liars and cheats,
Far from it,
I just wanted to know,
Did I posses the unconditional love,
That makes a good wife?

 

Why did we say Good bye?

WHY DID WE SAY GOODBYE?

It was love in the fast lane,
Funny how you always,
Did drive me crazy,
Without a car,
Or even a plane,
I would fall asleep,
On top of you,
And i would wake up by your side,
Never really knew,
Where the journey was taking us,
But we damn sure enjoyed the ride,
And somewhere along the way,
I had hoped that,
Your heart,
Would offer me a place to reside,

I lived for you,
You would die for me,
I would kill for you,
And when push came to shove,
Blood,
Sweat and tears,
Would be split for you,
Time would stand still with you,
Words alone,
Couldn’t express,
What i felt for you,
You were my fire,
And my heart,
Would melt for you,
Even when you drove too fast,
I would never slow you down,
But rather,
Simply strap on the seat belt for you,

My Romeo,
My Super Man,
To you,
I would surrender,
Without a fight,
You would hold me close,
In front of a firing squad,
And whisper in my ear,
That all will be alright,

I was always ready to give,
You never even needed to ask,
Always playing with fire,
Always living on the edge,
You had a beach house in my head,
And a villa in my bed,

And,
Right from our first encounter,
I knew right away,
That you were going to be my lover,
So we exchanged numbers,
And planned future visits,
And that night,
I just couldn’t sleep,
All i could think about,
Was your handsome smile,
I could see us exchanging vows,
And fantasized of you walking me down the aisle,

Love at first sight,
I had met my Kryptonite,
My Mr. Right,
Loving you,
Was all i ever wanted to do,
I would get nightmares,
Imagining a life without you,

Before you loved me,
I was but a nothing,
It was your love,
That made me a something,
The air i needed to keep breathing,
Promised me,
That you would never,
Leave my heart grieving,

At the sight of you,
My heart would stop,
With just a touch,
My whole body would freeze,
And with just a kiss,
I would drop on my knees,
Hands in the air,
And surrender,
My all to you,

In your arms,
I found comfort,
Besides you,
I found peace,
The love ship,
Had finally docked,
At my port,
I would rather hang myself,
I would rather be deceased,
Than risk losing you,
To someone else,
I would rather,
Be confined,
In the depths of hell,
Pen and pad in hand,
Reciting these poems to the demons,
Than be alive,
And risk settling,
For these other men,

Sometimes,
I would sit and wonder,
Why my heart did choose you,
because i never really,
Shook the feeling,
That one day i will lose you,
To who or what,
I really didn’t know,
I just felt deep inside me,
That one fateful day,
I will be forced to let go,

So,
Why,
Did we say goodbye my love?
We were supposed,
To be forever and always,
In love,
And under the man above,

Why did we,
Let go that easily?
We should have fought,
For our love much more vehemently,
You should have held a bit tighter,
You should have stayed,
Just a little bit longer,
You should have given a this girl,
A bit more time,
To sort things out,
And clear up her mind,

What we had was beautiful,
What we had was special,
And to give it up,
Just like that,
Without a fight,
Walk out and never look back,
Don’t you think,
It was a bit harsh?
Don’t you think,
That maybe,
Just maybe,
Your decision was rash?

 

Pain of the heart

When searching feelings of the heart
I look for the excitement you helped to bring
Memories of smiles
Making me sing

Bearing a heavy heart
Has left its mark
Teary words
Weary soul

Why do you linger?
Why can’t I grow?
Perhaps it’s because you remain what makes me whole

One minute I’m fine
In the next moment it’s like a could drink several bottles of wine

When I close my eyes to sleep
You appear in dreams
Turning the scene into my personal reality

When I write
You become the imagine words would like to describe
You’ve become the light that keeps me inspired

When I think of you
Feelings of blue stick like glue
I thought I was through

It seems I just can get enough
To simply say I’m over you
would be a poker move
Something they call a bluff

 

Lessons for 2014

It was definatly my year of growth. Career wise, relationship wise and as a person.

Topping my 2014 list, here are a few highlights:

1.) There’s nothing like a five minute nap, it changes everything. So does a shower and a hairdo.
2.) I used to hate noisy neighbors till I read David Livingstones’ “Missionary Travels and Researches in South Africa” He writes: “My reading while at work was carried on by placing the book on a portion of the spinning-jenny, so that I could catch sentence after sentence as I passed at my work; I thus kept up a pretty constant study undisturbed by the roar of the machinery. To this part of my education I owe my present power of completely abstracting the mind from surrounding noises, so as to read and write with perfect comfort amid the play of children or near the dancing and songs of savages.”(Yes, I had to ignore the word savages)?!?
…And back in my room I realized I need to get off my butt and pray.
3.) Electricity is over-rated. Fire, clean water and food is it. I can get clean with 10 cups of water.
4.) If you don’t like the person you’re dating, and you keep seeing them, it’s like being stranded on an island with a stranger…and since you’ve been hallucinating anyway (seeing as you’re still taking their calls, meeting and investing your time and efforts there), back on the island, one of you will feel the need to eat ‘real’ protein at some point…besides the fish and bugs on the island?!? Get out fast::It’s better to be lonely and sane (fixable), than lonely and insane (you’re of no use to yourself or society).
5.) Loving someone who’s been raised in a loving home is awesome. Loving someone who’s not been shown genuine wholesome parental love can lead to you teaching them how to love; then either the person can decide to love you back or go find someone else to love. Therefore be wise and have boundaries on who or what you choose to make your responsibility.
6.) Dating a last born::Based on how loved my babies are and especially the last born, I wonder who he will bother looking for love from..answer, no one. He is whole and confident and knows how to love. So he will know how to give and receive love. All children should be so loved that they ooze love in wholesome building ways as adults.
7.) No matter how many times you wear your favorite pair of shoes, scent, watch, earrings, tie, belt or pants; the feeling you get is always the same…oh baby!!! It’s like you’re dancing in the rain and drying on a sandy beach with a tall glass of tropical juice. So, who cares how many times you wear the same thing as long as it makes you feel good? Don’t live to keep up appearances.
8.) Share what you know. Knowledge increases (in you) the more you give it out.
9.) We can all be idiots and do stupid things. We can all be a Pita (pain in the arse). It’s just important not to be all those things at once.
10.) Some of the best quotes I read this year:

……there are really only two steps to simplifying your life:
– Identify what’s most important to you.
– Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.
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True freedom is not the right to do as we please. It is the power to do what is right!
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Grace does not grant permission to live in the flesh; it supplies power to live in the Spirit. -John MacArthur. Via BDCB.
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“Where people spend their time and money is where they should get their joy.”
BDCB.
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Happy New Year peeps! God bless you. Looking forward to blog more

 

Love Vs Friendship

LOVE Vs. FRIENDSHIP

Between love and friendship
I’m waving like a lost ship.

Not needing more, but needing something
Not needing forever, but needing what we have.

You need to know
That I want to know
You for the rest of my life.

Between Doubt and certitude
How can I have such an attitude?

I no more bear the confusion
Tell me is it truth or illusion

I was dreaming when there came A strange feeling I can not name

I want to tell you
exactly how I feel
and that my feelings
are completely real.

I want to tell you
Tell you truly
With great intentions
and Loving desires

Inside only you can see
Like the door knows the key
Today it is clearly seen
In between I should have never been.

I need you to know
For many reasons
Reasons…?YES Reasons?
Reasons of Friendship
Friendship stronger than
Three words I.L.Y
Three words
I LOVE YOU